I want to know what it takes to earn someone’s trust. I know trust is never an easy thing to gain, and very easy to lose. The closer to one’s heart you’re aiming for, the harder it is to earn said trust. Some people say that to trust is to be made a fool, yet we trust people all the time. Small things of course, but we trust them all the same. We have to or we would be too busy to do anything at all. So how does one go about gaining the trust of another?
Trust is something that is built over time. The longer the effort to earn said trust, the more depth said trust is held with. The only other way to form a deep trust with someone is to let them in emotionally. This is by far the hardest thing to earn. I do not believe that trust (along with respect) should be granted automatically. It should be earned. The more you prove yourself trustworthy the more that should be entrusted to you. The same goes with respect. Too many people demand respect without showing it or giving any in return.
I have found someone that I love, completely. All her virtues and all her faults, I wouldn’t change a thing. They make up the woman to whom I love, in doing so however I have entrusted her with my heart. I do not regret it in the slightest. It was quite shocking upon realizing it though. A bad event in my life, and though I had a lot of people around me offering their sympathy, the only person I wanted to be with was her. The only person I wanted to express myself to was her. A little while after this realization, I told her how I felt. It scared her something fierce. Her past has made her very wary of any man. Holding dear the belief that if she lets herself feel anything, something bad will happen to her. I don’t know how to express myself well enough to abash this belief. I don’t hold it against her, indeed her past has given her reason to think so. She has seen that I am not a man of her past. Someone not to fear, someone that has no hidden adgenda other than to love her. Still she persists in this belief. I worry quite a lot that she will refuse to open her heart enough to openly love me with the same regard as I do her.
I hear it is strange for a man to talk about his feelings in such a way but I know no other way to do it. I want so much to earn her trust, for her to love me as I do her. I am just at a loss as how to go about it. All I can think of is to continue as I have been doing. Supporting her emotionally, not allowing herself to doubt things that should not be doubted. She probably thinks me a fool or a liar when I tell her how I feel with regards to her, but I don’t care. I won’t change my mind. I don’t lie for the sake of someone’s feelings. I can’t lie because a lie is the easiest way to lose a trust that’s barely given purchase. I wonder what I can do to prove that I am who I say I am, that I am worthy of her trust. That I am worthy of her affection and love that she refuses to let herself feel, or at the very least express. I wonder what her expression would be when she couldn’t hold in the feelings anymore and they come bursting out without hesitation…. I wonder…. I trust her with my heart, and hope to earn hers….
T.D.S.
Student of Human Nature
