I am an intellectual, I am a guy, and I am a moron. I am observant, I am patient, and I am lost. I am strange, I am weird and I am laughable. I am a dork, I am a goober, but I am also fun to be with. I am neither cruel nor disrespectful to those who deserve neither, I am caring, and I am lustful. With all that being said, above all else I am a fool.
The saying goes “Only fools fall in love.” Why? Why does that have to be the case? Is it because fools allow themselves to be vulnerable to those they deem worthy of their affection? Whatever the reason behind the saying, I would rather be a fool any day of the week than be without love for one day of my life. Those who say that love is not worth it have never been in love themselves. It is only an opinion, but it is also an opinion based on personal experience.
So the question then becomes, why do we put ourselves out to be so vulnerable? If it was a physical pain, we could numb it. The issue isn’t physical though, it is emotional. When someone returns the feelings you put forth to them, you feel like a pilot. Flying higher than birds, looking down as though everyday is a calm summer day, were there is a warm breeze. When those feelings are torn from your life, it feels as though you’re one of those birds that gets sucked into the jet engine and forced out the other end, falling without a parachute. You wish, hope and pray that the pain will go away but it doesn’t. It is something to which you can only suffer through. Why do we put ourselves in a position to potentially feel such pain?
We are a species that revels in emotions and curses them in the same breath. We are ones that seek an emotional bond with someone else, and curse their name when things go badly. We want all without risk, yet risk all for the want of a connection, a connection that lasts a life time. The question seems to be to find a way to sift through all of those to which things are compatible to find the best fit. If someone finds a way to find said person who is perceived in the same light, then that someone is the richest person in the world. They are the envy of those around them, and the desire for those that seek companionship.
I am a fool, because I have tossed my dice in to find that person. Initially all I wanted was to find someone that I can laugh with, share experiences with, and turn to me when she is feeling blue. I don't know if I have found this person yet but my hopes are high. I have met someone with many, many, many more things in common with me than in my previous relationship. Will this make me a fool? One can only hope. Will the future bring fruit to bare? I don't know, but it is exciting to see the future unravel like a flag in the wind, waiting to shine. I am .... A fool, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
T.D.S
Student of Human Nature
